Back in the (former) USSR

I returned from Christmas vacation just in time to start 2020 here in the former СССР. If things go as planned, I’ll finish 2020 in the current США. I cannot believe my first tour is ending this year!

As endings always make me reflective, I’ve been thinking about the pros and cons of this life. So many pros. While I can’t claim I remember to greet each day with gratitude, I’d guess I have at least one moment each week of being simply and truly grateful.

Oftentimes it’s gratitude that I am no longer in a career that had become toxic for me.

Recently, as my boss opined on lunch options, it took me some minutes to realize he was talking about “doners” and not “donors.” I heaved a sigh of relief.

My 2015-2017 workplace guilt-tripped anyone who wanted vacation and, as a bonus, the director guilt-tripped me specifically, telling me I was paid too much (if true, maybe not the best management tactic). Fortunately, I had a far more humane employer in 2018, although I then struggled with earning a living wage in an increasingly expensive city.

From guilt-trips in 2017 to intense frugality in 2018, to wrapping up 2019 enjoying a Christmas holiday with old friends followed by a New Year’s Eve splurge with new friends. Who could have predicted?

I still have my Tarot cards, purchased almost 30 years ago. And this NYE things did get a bit six of cups as we were increasingly “in our cups.”

Starting 2020 with smart decisions: I did not finish this shot of vodka

There is only one Iceland!

My teenage self, dabbling in tarot cards, certainly never prophesied ringing in a new year at the Almaty Ritz with a sumptuous dinner of mistranslated buffet options followed by dancing the Macarena!

 

I’m obviously also grateful for the travel and cultural learning opportunities. I came here speaking no Russian, and look at me now! After months of #YourTaxPayerDollarsAtWork language lessons and ZERO studying…um…my trips to the grocery store are slightly less fraught?

Okay, so 2019 didn’t make me fluent in Russian. But it did make me a more adventurous traveler. Sure, I said I was interested in Asia for many years, but then I mostly just kept going back to Europe. I said I was interested in the former USSR but had only dipped a toe into Moldova before landing in Kazakhstan (the SUPER STAR SSR that, as a reminder, single-handedly kept the USSR in existence for 4 days in 1991).

Kazakhstan, perhaps a little too committed to all things red.

Then, boom! In one year I reconnected with beloved friends and family in Morocco and the UK and visited brand new places east of the Caucasus like Moscow and Samarkand and Chiang Mai. I now have five SSRs under my belt with another on the books for March. And my bank account still isn’t drained.

What’s my secret?

Here are two more key pros of this life: a hefty dose of holidays (American and Kazakh) and #YourTaxPayerDollarsAtWork paying my rent.

Free rent isn’t even the alpha and omega of housing pros. My apartment here is far larger than I could afford in Seattle. And maintenance? If my dishwasher (dishwasher!) breaks or I want to hang a picture, I simply call our facilities office and they show up at my door.  #PrincessTiffany doesn’t have to so much as pick up a hammer.

Hang my own pictures? I have people for that!

My work, my home, my vacations, my bank account…it’s all better now!

And yet…the “cons.”

There are straight up safety worries like taxis without seatbelts and severe air pollution.

What a gorgeous view of the particulate pollution!

There’s coping with medical/dental care not up to US standards. Do I have a cavity? One week I’m told yes, a week later, no. Yeah, I got a $30 decent quality mammogram here, but ideally I should get them at my “usual place.” See you in October Espresso Dental and Ballard Swedish!

In the worst situations, care may not be available at all. Despite the problems of the American health care system, it’s hard to imagine a better place to get treated for trauma. We’ve medevaced a few people out of Almaty after serious accidents.

Worst of all, there are so many people I miss. While I stay in touch via FaceTime and text and even Zuckerberg’s evil empire, there’s no substitute for everyday contact as simple as a drink after work. Creating a social circle isn’t easy and here I’ve deliberately removed myself from the comforting embrace of mine! I’m sad knowing I’m missing kids growing up and friends going through major life changes. I worry people will forget about me.

Separation from family and friends, medical care—those are big things. But there are also small things that build up.

The nervousness as I realize I’m the first to arrive at the agreed-upon happy hour spot and it’s now my job to request the table for…ugh! I don’t remember my Russian numbers unless I count them on my fingers! Embarrassing! Although when I’m the last to arrive and must place my order, in terrible Russian, in front of coworkers who had a year of pre-arrival language training that I lack…also embarrassing!

The mild tension when I hand a cashier a 5,000 tenge note (approximately $13) knowing they’ll likely ask for a smaller bill that I don’t have and that acquiring the correct change may involve up to three other cashiers and a manager.

My frustration with a burger so smothered in sauce that I’m expected to eat it using latex gloves (yep!) while my side of fries is accompanied by a mere dime size dollop of ketchup.

When I accidentally pay a stranger’s internet bill at the automated kiosk because my I misread the (Russian) bill and punch in my postal code instead of my account number.

When I have to go to three different stores to find the necessary ingredients for a favorite recipe, if I can find them at all. Or I think I’ve found what I need because I can read the tiniest bit of Russian but because it’s hard for me to read Russian I stop reading once I think I’ve found what I need, don’t read the smaller print, and only realize once I get home that all that powdered sugar I bought is lemon flavored.

When I need to make a simple but rare-ish purchase—a spool of thread or a bottle of rubbing alcohol—and the realization dawns that I have literally no idea where to acquire such a thing. A colleague can usually point me in the right direction, but having to ask for help buying a spool of thread makes you feel stupid. It just does.

All of these little things form a daily background buzz that I can mostly ignore. But sometimes the buzz builds into a cacophony and leaving the apartment seems unbearable.

Side note: Yet many people RISK THEIR LIVES to put themselves through this when then come to America as immigrants and refugees. 

Look, I would be devastated if I had to leave this job tomorrow. I hope Kazakhstan is only the first of many posts. But I also want to be honest that that there are drawbacks; this job isn’t for everyone and even for me the pros and cons may weigh differently at future posts and force me to reevaluate.

In summary: I’m grateful. But it’s not all travel adventure and New Year’s Eve at the Ritz. Just some of that. 😃